I am a DAAD PhD scholar at the Institute for Cellular and Molecular Botany (IZMB), University of Bonn, Germany. I had a slightly unconventional route towards my doctorate. After my master's, I worked for a year in the industry, tried my hands at science communication and then re-entered academia. Coming with some work experience, my perspective towards academia has shifted a lot, making this journey more challenging and rewarding at the same time. 
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As I enter the second year of my PhD, I thought, I should create some sort of a record of key events or happenings in my PhD journey, mainly as a history look up for my future self. But dear visitor/ reader/ friend, if at least a tiny part of this page strikes a chord within you, I would be happy as well.
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What are you doing?

I was waiting for the regular evening bus I take back home. A German lady probably in her fifties approached me and asked me something about the bus. My German is poor, and more so, it gets awkward when the speaker speaks fast. But I managed to answer what she asked.

Knowing that there was still some time for the bus to arrive, we started having a conversation, and this time in English! My German had forced her to switch to English :) She asked me 'What I was doing?' I told her I was a studying at the University of Bonn. She then asked me what I was studying. I told her, I was doing my PhD. Her expression became quizzical when she heard the word 'PhD'. She asked me to explain what a PhD is. I then tried to tell her that it was doctoral education, and so on. After listening to me, she looked triumphant. She declared, 'Ah now I understand! You are studying medicine to be a doctor. Right?'. I was at a loss for words. My explanation did not make the cut. I responded again telling that 'No, a doctorate is different from a medical doctor'. Then she asked, 'I can't really understand what you are doing. What are you going to become?'. That was the moment the bus came, and our short conversation ended, as we took different seats. 

I am recording this conversation here, as a funny reminder for my future self or anyone reading it to see that the world is teeming with different personalities. Each of us come with our own perspectives and understanding.

A laugh to remember!

I moved to this beautiful city of Bonn a few months back, and have started enjoying my bus rides to my lab. The different kinds of people I get to observe during this short ride, have started to have big impacts on me.

One such acquaintance who left a lasting impression on me was a tiny toddler! It was a sunny morning, and my little friend boarded the bus with his father. They settled on a seat in front of me. The little boy stood up on the seat, turned back and keenly observed all of us. Then he stared outside with a broad smile on his lips. He was enjoying the breeze and the soft sun light hitting his cheeks. He then turned back to us people sitting at the back, and started giggling and jumping. His laughter was so loud that each of us who were buried into our cell phones until then, started watching him with great interest. The laughter wave he was spreading out was so contagious that, almost all of us at the back started laughing along with him for no reason. Just a few minutes before that, I was deeply worried about my error-prone code, not so good results, and an impending presentation. But this tiny chap brought me out of my reverie, and gave me a free laughter therapy. I got down from the bus feeling happy.

My entire day was great. Wait, I still had troubles with my code, nor were my results of any great value. Despite this, I had a great day because my little friend in the bus shared a great trick. Our daily life is like this short bus ride. The only way to enjoy it and reach our destination is, to put up a broad smile, and take things into our stride :) I want my future self or anyone else reading this, to just laugh without a reason and march on ... 


Reminiscing my first year

I joined the Pucker lab in 2024 for my PhD. I already did my master thesis in the same group, so I was already familiar with the group and my supervisor, which made my start a bit easy. Nevertheless, I had my own challenges to overcome. Being a vegetarian who spent most of my life in the southern coastal city of Chennai, I was so used to comforting home food and moderate climate. But the thoughts of having to cook my own food and battle the harsh German winters, created pangs of uncertainty and fear as I boarded my flight from Chennai. Although I was happy to return back to my group, and work in a research area that excited me, I cannot describe how sad I felt at the thought of having to leave home and family for the duration of my PhD.
 
With thousands of questions and doubts, I landed in Germany and took my train to the small city of Braunschweig, where I completed the initial 6 months of my PhD. I experienced living in an airbnb for the first time during this period until I found a room to stay. I would always remain thankful to my hosts, who made me feel at home during my stay at their place. The next few days were filled with activity, I submitted my first manuscript on a bioinformatics tool to estimate genome sizes to a journal, and began working on the next significant part of my PhD project. This time I managed to put up with the cold winters and also improved my cooking skills. Now I can confidently cook a simple Indian meal for myself and a few others too! As Christmas neared, I got a news about a health emergency in the family. I flew back home and it was an unplanned trip. In the end, by God's grace everything came back to normal and I got back to work. I even managed to attend a conference and present my work as a poster. The conference was held at the scenic town of Hennef, Germany, and I travelled bravely surviving the -3 degree celsius temperatures. I must give a pat on my back for this. Personally, this was a huge achievement for me! I must also mention about having got a dear friend in Braunschweig, a fellow DAAD scholar from Nepal, who stood with me through all my struggles, especially when I felt lonely or stressed out. It was friends like her, my lab mates and my supervisor, who made my time away from home, comfortable and joyful.
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After that, I had to deal with moving from Braunschweig to Bonn, as my group was moving to the University of Bonn. With a great deal of support from my colleagues and my supervisor, I moved to Bonn and got slowly adapted to the city. This was also a chaotic period filled with administrative stuff, navigating the city, submitting performance reports for my scholarship, and revising my manuscript to address reviewer comments. 
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The next phase was a bit celebratory with my manuscript being accepted and my scholarship being granted further. Following that, until now, it has been quite uneventful on the research front. Most of the days go in rewiring and reworking on my codes and repeating the data analysis for the nth time. Although, I used to get disheartened when I do not get results, now my attitude towards failure and negative results has slightly improved. On the whole, during my first year there were mostly moments of self-doubt, delusion, mixed equally with moments of 'ah I get it now', 'it is fine, I will get it in the next try'. So, I want my future self and anyone else reading this, to see that this journey is mine, I have a unique story, I have a unique path. I must not compare myself with anyone else, and I must take things into my stride to walk further. As I end my random musing about my first year, I am eagerly waiting to see how this journey of mine will unfold in the future ...